Stupid college girl

Let me tell you a story.

One time when I was a sweet little college student at BYU, I was walking to my car after a big group hang out.  It was late (probably close to midnight) and I was walking to my car by myself.

#1. I was not smart.
#2. I lived in a bubble world in a bubble college, which reinforced my view that life was safe and happy and everyone was basically kind at their core.
#3. I had not a single thought about how maybe I shouldn't be walking to my car late at night by myself.
#4. Nothing really bad happened to me because I was walking to my car by myself, I just look back on this story and realize how utterly and completely naive I was.  About everything.

So, I'm on my phone walking to my car, minding my own business and feeling pretty happy about life.  A car passes going the same direction as me, and as soon as they pass their brake lights turn on and they begin a slow turn and head back toward me.  AGAIN, I FELT NO FEAR.  No thought crossed my mind like "this person is going to abduct me" or "something bad might happen."  Nope.  My only thought was, "hey!  It must be a friend!  They are turning around to say hi."

Seriously!!  WHO WAS I??!!  If that happened to me today I would be speed dialing 911 as soon as I saw the brake lights.  I might have swung to the other extreme in my old age.

Anyway, this car turned around so they are now heading towards me on the opposite side of the road. I see the back window roll down.  I see a person lean the top half of their body out the window.  I raise my hand to wave (because obviously these are friendly strangers).  The car speeds up and swerves towards me.

WHACK!

I got nailed.  Hard.  With a flying object of some kind.  In the nether regions.

IN THE NETHER REGIONS I SAY!!

Whaa?  How?  Who? What just happened???

The car sped off (presumably full of laughter).  I was in shock.  I looked down, and on the sidewalk was a Hostess cream pie, chocolate to be exact, smooshed into a million gooey pieces, the remnants on my pants and dripping down my leg.

I got Hostess cream pied.  At about 35 miles per hour.

And I laughed.  I wasn't upset.  These guys were dill holes, yes.  But hey, it could have been a lot worse.  At least it didn't hit me in the face!

Don't you worry though, I had a huge bruise on my lady parts for a week.

Did that stop me from being a stupid idiotic young adult and walking to my car alone?  Nope.  Sure didn't.

But I will never look at a Hostess cream pie the same.