Lorde - Royals LDS Parody

Here it is folks!  The reason for my messy house for the last month.  Enjoy :)

The tornado

I had a pride shattering moment yesterday.

If you're like me, then your house goes in cycles from clean to slightly messy, to more messy, to junkyard in a hurricane messy, and then back to clean.  It stays in the clean phase for about a nanosecond.  I usually run around like a maniac cleaning up barbies, dirty socks, stuffed animals and/or food wrappers all day only to have my house still look like a complete wreck by five o'clock.  Sometimes life takes precedence over being the maid, and on those occasions my house gets uber neglected.

This past weekend was one of those times.  My sister Calee and I are filming a music video (you definitely don't want to miss it), and it has been kind of all consuming the past few days.  We are filming part of it at my house, but I don't have a blank wall/nice background so we took the classy road and tacked a sheet to the living room wall.  I have a tripod and props laying around.  We have filmed the same song about a billion times, and I've listened to it and watched the footage about a billion times a billion times.  (Yes, I am also editing this beast.  Did I mention I'm not an editor?  That makes it fun.)  Then Saturday we were gone all day filming at other locations (in 30 degree weather wearing short sleeved dresses.  It was the best day of my life).  Then Sunday I had choir practice then church then to my dad's for a birthday celebration. Monday I was gone all day.  Tuesday I was gone all day.  I finally got home Tuesday afternoon, ready to do some cleaning.  FINALLY.  I put baby down for a nap, when I heard a knock at the door.  My 9 year old clears a path to the doorway and answers it, and I hear someone asking for me.  I go to the door and see my visiting teachers.

OH NO.

OH NO OH NO.

(For those of you who may not know, visiting teachers are two women from my church who come visit me every month and chat and bring treats and leave me with a nice little message.  I have ladies that I visit teach as well.  I love the program so much.  Except when I have a tornado house.  Then I don't love it so much.)

Apparently there was a miscommunication and they were under the impression that they were coming to visit me.  In my putrescence. (Look it up.)

I should mention that these ladies are new to me, and have only visited me once before. At which time my home was pristine and smelled like apple cider and all my children were sedated in the basement.  JK.  My older kids were at school and my baby was napping.  Planned it.  Nailed it.

I had no choice.  I was standing there at the door.  No excuse would have worked, although I ran through a list of them in my brain:

I'm not home.
I'm asleep.
Who are you again?
I'm not Nikki.
I'm leaving.
You're leaving.
Visit?  We just finished the visit!  Thanks for all the great conversation!  Buh bye!

Instead, I let them in.  They stepped over piles of jackets and backpacks and small children.  They brushed crumbs and toys off the couch so they would have a place to sit.  And they warily eyeballed my sheet covered wall.

It's just a dead body behind there.  Don't worry about it.

We chatted and I made up some lame excuse about my house, like that I've been filming a music video.  I'm a 32 year old Mormon mother of 3 and I'm filming a music video.  Sounds legit.  I'm sure they recognized that it's a perfectly valid reason to have my house looking like it did.  Doesn't everyone film music videos instead of doing the dishes?  No?  Hmm.

They left me with a sweet message on prayer (all the while offering silent prayers for my sanity which had obviously left me, I'm sure) and went on their merry way.

After they left I laid down on a pile of fruit snack wrappers and licked my pride wounds.  That sentence is so gross I can't even handle it.

They left.  I was embarrassed.  The end.

Nikki & Calee Present: DIY Baby Halloween Costumes

Need some quick and easy DIY halloween costumes?  Look no further!  We'll show you some amazing ideas. No really, these are amazing.

Note: the last 30 seconds of this video are my hands down favorite.  Maybe ever.

You are His

I feel the need to say thank you.  Thank you to those readers and friends who have been supportive and kind.  Let me give you some background, and this is going to get really personal.

I love to write.  I used to blog daily (years ago), and I have always been a story teller.  Not the kind of story teller that's a big fat liar (oh, she's a "story teller"), but just someone who can take an ordinary event and make it into a big, long, entertaining story.  Everyone in my family is like this, it's one of our family traits.  I think I'm the worst at it out of everyone in the fam, but that's an entirely different post altogether.

For the past few months I have been feeling more and more like I need to be writing again.  I have felt...compelled, I guess is the best way to say it.  And as I've thought about it, and tried to figure out how much time to put into it, and how to pursue it, I have found myself becoming discouraged.  I have been swimming in self-doubt and insecurity, and it's been confusing to me.  Why in the world would I be feeling so unsure?  It is just a blog!  No one cares if I write, or what I write.  If you feel like writing, Nikki, just write!  But time after time those dark voices would whisper that I wasn't good enough and shouldn't even try.

I had a conversation with my sister, Calee, who really helped me put things in perspective.  She reminded me that one of the most influential tools Satan uses in our life is self-doubt and fear.  And that if I really knew I was a daughter of God, if I really knew He was aware of me, that those dark voices would be quieted, and would not have as much influence on my decisions.

So, I hit my knees.  I asked Heavenly Father to remind me that He knows me.  I asked Him to remind me of my gifts, and to help me discover how He would have me use them.

Later that day, my prayer was answered.

I received a text from an old friend (who I do not talk with regularly) telling me how much she loved reading my blog and how uplifting it was to her. I felt God's love as I read her words.

Moments later, I received an email from another friend who I haven't been in touch with since high school (besides the sporadic liking each other's Facebook posts), telling me that she felt she needed to write and tell me how much she appreciates my posts.  She said that she knows it is difficult to make time to write every day, but that my posts have been helping her get through a difficult time.  Again, I felt like Heavenly Father was reminding me that there are reasons I've felt compelled to be writing.

Just a few minutes after I received that email, I got another email from a woman at church (my Relief Society President).  I am fairly new in our ward, and I don't know many people well.  I have chatted with this woman once or twice, but that is the extent of our interaction.  In her email she wrote that I had been on her mind lately, and that she felt she needed to tell me that I am special, and that Heavenly Father knows and loves me.

As I read through her email, my eyes filled with tears.  I felt overwhelming love from my Father in Heaven, who was gently reminding me over and over that He knows me, and through others, was encouraging me to follow the promptings I've been receiving regarding writing.  I cannot describe the intensity of the feeling.  I know that there is a God.  I know that not only is He all powerful, the Creator of all things, but He is also our loving Father.  He knows us.  Each of us.  He knows what you are struggling with right at this moment.  He knows the desires of your heart.  He knows your heartaches.

I know He knows mine.  And I know He knows yours.

If you are struggling with self-doubt or insecurity, with heartache or loss, with sadness or confusion I challenge you to do what I did.  To pray, and ask God to remind you of His love for you.  Ask Him to strengthen your testimony that you are His child.

Your answer may not come as mine did (there have been many times my answers to prayer have not been so quick or so obvious), but I know it will come.

Since this experience last week, there have been other emails and texts and comments and Facebook posts in continual answer to that prayer.  Thank you to those of you who have followed the promptings you have felt to reach out to me in some way.  You have been His answer.

Introducing...

Hey friends!  So my sister Calee and I have decided to team up and create a little video series for Have Joy.  Here are some things you need to know about it:

1. We think we are really funny.  You should probably keep this in mind as you are watching our ridiculousness.
2. We love watching home videos from when we were younger, which is probably why we thought this would be a good idea.  It's a grown up version of the videos we made as kids (minus the braces, plus a few offspring).
3. We are doing this series for fun.  So if you have fun watching it, subscribe to our channel and share the love!  And if you don't have fun watching it, I would suggest going to fun school.  Just kidding.  But seriously.
4. We are going to try to have a new video every two weeks for your viewing pleasure, so don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss anything that could be completely irrelevant to your future happiness!

Insanity

It's Monday.  Here are some things I'm thinking about:

1. I'm hungry but I don't feel like eating.  This happens to me every morning.  Lest you assume there are some positive counter-chubby benefits to this phenomenon, let me assure you there are not.
2. I posted on my blog EVERY DAY last week!  Are you impressed?  I am.  First time in years that I've done that, and it absolutely filled my soul with sunshine and glitter and skittles.  I need to keep it up.
3. I've got some new things ahead for Have Joy happening this week in collaboration with my sister Calee Reed.  Stay tuned.  No seriously.
4. My house is bordering on hoarder status and I am so good at thinking of reasons to let it stay that way.  Why is it that Sunday thrashes my house?  What is it about Sunday that is so ridiculously messy?  Come on, Sunday!  Give a girl a break!
5. The Mister ran to the store on Saturday and I told him we needed toilet paper and diapers.  Turns out we didn't need either.  Someone has misplaced my brain.  It's probably in my Sunday hoarder piles.  I'm never gonna find it.

And with that, I will leave you with this:

Have a good day, friends!

Tender Moments

I was able to go to Time Out for Women a few weekends ago, and it was wonderful.  I felt uplifted and encouraged and inspired.  I was able to watch my amazing sister Calee Reed perform, and I couldn't help but think about how happy our mom must be to know that Calee is passing on the legacy of music.  Calee is so talented and I bawled the whole time she was on stage.  She is living her dream!!  It is so beautiful to watch and I am so proud of her!

I also saw Mercy River perform, and was especially touched by a song they did called "Walk You Through the Night."  It's a song about motherhood, and about how although as mothers we do not have all the answers, we can walk our children through dark times and love them perfectly.  I thought not only of my own children but also of my mother.  It has been almost four years since she passed away.  Although my mom was not perfect, she was the perfect mother for me.

I spent the next few days thinking about that song, and thinking about how I could overcome my own insecurities and shortcomings as a mother.  I bought the Mercy River album (duh) and was listening to that song when my 2 year old came into the kitchen with me.  She grabbed my legs and we started to dance.  My heart about exploded with love for this tiny human that is a piece of myself.  I bent down and picked her up in a cradle-style hold and began to rock her back and forth to the song.  My eyes welled with tears as I was filled with gratitude for the opportunity to be her mother.  She looked up at me with her big brown eyes and said,

"Mom?"

I looked down at her sweet face as she continued,

"PUT ME DOWN!!!!"

Moment ruined.  

RUINED.

I put her sassy face back down and she ran out of the kitchen to play.  And that about sums up my experience of motherhood.  Tiny, fleeting moments of tenderness interrupted by crazy, frustrating, not tender at all real life.  And I'm so incredibly thankful for every single part of it.