I also saw Mercy River perform, and was especially touched by a song they did called "Walk You Through the Night." It's a song about motherhood, and about how although as mothers we do not have all the answers, we can walk our children through dark times and love them perfectly. I thought not only of my own children but also of my mother. It has been almost four years since she passed away. Although my mom was not perfect, she was the perfect mother for me.
I spent the next few days thinking about that song, and thinking about how I could overcome my own insecurities and shortcomings as a mother. I bought the Mercy River album (duh) and was listening to that song when my 2 year old came into the kitchen with me. She grabbed my legs and we started to dance. My heart about exploded with love for this tiny human that is a piece of myself. I bent down and picked her up in a cradle-style hold and began to rock her back and forth to the song. My eyes welled with tears as I was filled with gratitude for the opportunity to be her mother. She looked up at me with her big brown eyes and said,
I looked down at her sweet face as she continued,
"PUT ME DOWN!!!!"
I put her sassy face back down and she ran out of the kitchen to play. And that about sums up my experience of motherhood. Tiny, fleeting moments of tenderness interrupted by crazy, frustrating, not tender at all real life. And I'm so incredibly thankful for every single part of it.