Break Time

Internet not working. Boo. This is when I'm especially thankful that I have Internet and blogging capabilities on my phone.

Found out that I have two impacted wisdom teeth. That's pretty stellar news.

So tired lately. Like more than usual. Even when I'm sleeping enough. My hair is falling out practically in clumps. I just haven't been feeling like myself lately. Pretty sure something is wrong. I'm going to the doctor on Thursday to have some tests done. Bleh.

I'm also going to take a little break from blogging. I'm really sad about that because it's become such a way of healing and connecting for me. But I am very near the point of losing my mind, and knowing a bunch of people expect me to come up with something clever or funny or insightful every day has been adding to my stress. Especially because I'm not feeling particularly clever or funny or insightful lately.

So. That's that. I'm going to still try to update at least once a week. And maybe more if I'm feeling up to it. And hopefully I'll be back to the every day kind of blogging very soon. Assuming I don't keel over from stress first. Or get struck by lightning.

Never underestimate lightning.


-- Post From My iPhone

And the Winner Is...

My beautiful sister Brooke!!

Honestly, I almost had it re-pick a name because I almost don't feel like it's fair for my sister to get it. But then I think it's not fair for her to not get it just because she's my sister. She posted this on her blog just like everyone else and the all-knowing random.org machine picked her name out of the list.

And I had a flashback of times when my mom would teach music in primary or in my class at school (she did that a lot), and she would never pick me for anything because I was her daughter, and I remember thinking that was so unfair. So, I'm sticking to the random picker choicer chooser choice!!

WOHOOO BROOKE!! Email Kristina at californiacaramelco at gmail dot com.
She follows this blog so she'll know you're the winner, and she'll be expecting your email. Tell her you won the Have Joy give away, and send her your address, and she'll mail those beautiful apples to Utah! Mmm...mmm...

Thanks to all of you who entered! Stay tuned for future give aways...I've got a couple really cute ones coming up in the near future.

And I'll send you off with Bug's favorite joke right now:

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Papa
Papa who?
Paparazzi!!

haha. To be reminded why that is so funny, click HERE.

Happy Halloween everyone!

Q&A: No Sexy Please

I got this email from an anonymous email account last week, and thought it would make a great Q&A. **Warning: This post contains sexual content. Read at your own risk.**

Q: So my sex drive is pretty much not great. I am just tired at the end of the day & nothing sounds better than sleep when I crawl into bed. But my husband wants more than sleep, he wants action. When I'm not in the mood, often he gets really irritated & thinks I'm not attracted to him & this attitude lasts until we "do it" (usually a couple days).
I know that as soon as we get intimate, he'll shake it off & be cool with me again. But it is hard to want to get intimate with him when he's mad at me, ya know? It's a horrible cycle. But one we always fall into. It makes me want to just say "fine, lets do it" even when I have no desire, but I HATE doing it when I don't really want to & he doesn't want that either. So do you have any tips that will help me have more of a desire to do the deed? Please help me here. When he's "satisfied" (that sounds sleazy) he's a better husband and dad. But, I just don't feel like satisfying him as often as he'd like. What to do, what to do?
Am I the only person who doesn't want sex multiple times per week? I hope I'm not alone, but it sure feels like I am.


A: First of all, thank you so much for this question. I really think that a lot of women struggle with this, especially women with young children at home. Here are my thoughts in bullet points:

• By some cruel trick, men and women are created differently. Not only in our need for sex, but in what sex means to us. Women want to feel close and emotionally connected BEFORE getting down. Men, on the other hand, feel close and emotionally connected AFTER doing the deed. Therefore, the less sex you have, the less close your husband will feel to you. That's just the way it is. You mentioned that he is a better husband and father when he is satisfied, and that is because he's feeling emotionally connected to you, which makes him more inclined to help out. So, the way you feel when your hubby does the dishes for you, is similar to how he feels when you make love to him. Maybe that will help you want to do the deed more often if you look at it that way.
  
• There is a physical component to it, in that men have a build up of semen that continues to build until they can release it. It actually becomes physically uncomfortable if he can't release that on a regular basis. So more than him just being needy and selfish and wanting sex, he actually has a physical need...and if you're in a committed, religious relationship, then you're the only one who can fill that need.
• Can I ask you a personal question? Are you able to have an orgasm? How often? If you are not physically satisfied during sex, that will definitely make you not want to do it as often.
  
• Wow I have so much to say about this! I have to pick and choose so this doesn't get waaaay too long...
• Is there another time of day (besides super late when you're completely exhausted) that you could have a little mmm mmmm with your hubby? I am a huge fan of scheduling sex. That's right. SCHEDULE it. Sounds really unromantic, but it can actually be really fun. Say Wednesday night at 8:00 (older kids are at mutual, younger kids are in bed). All day you know it's Sex Day...maybe you shave your legs in the shower. Maybe hubby sends you a sweet note or brings home dinner or something. You end up anticipating it during the day, and it could be really fun. That might not work for everyone, but it's worth a shot.
• Have you ever talked to your husband about what his ideal number of times per week is? What is yours? If you sit down and talk about it, maybe you can come up with a compromise schedule, so that he doesn't feel like he has to beg to get his needs met, and you don't feel like he'll be pestering you every night, ya know? Just a thought.

Ok, I'm going to stop now. I have so much more to say. And I still need to share some of the sex facts I learned in my sex therapy class. Maybe I'll start doing a Sex Facts Day on this blog. Thoughts? Maybe every Wednesday or something I'll do a post about some sort of sex topic. Would anyone out there be interested in that?

Leave your thoughts to this anonymous reader about her predicament. And reader, was any of what I wrote helpful to you? I'm feeling like I just blabbed and didn't really give you what you were looking for.

Also, tonight is the last night of the California Caramel Company Give Away!! Not many people have entered, because I limited entries to those who have blogs (sorry), so your chances are really good!!

Sparkle and Chewer Man

Went to Mcdonald's last night with the kiddos and The Boy.

There was only one man in there with his five year old little girl, and after about 20 minutes Boy Wonder leaned over to me and said, "That man has been chewing for the last 20 minutes, but there is no food on the table! What is he chewing?"

Sure enough, the dude had a huge wad of something in his cheek and he literally chewed the entire time we were there. He never spit, so I'm assuming it wasn't actually Chew (as in tobacco). And if it was gum it was A LOT of gum. About every 5 minutes or so, Boy would lean over and say, "What is he chewing?!" Boy was not trying to be funny. He was actually quite disturbed. The mystery chewer man was apparently pretty distracting to Boy.

Have I mentioned lately that I really love him? Boy. Not Weird Chewer Man. I feel very lucky that he came into my life.

Anyway, Bug was playing with Chewer Man's five year old, and when she came down for a water break I asked her what her new friend's name was.

Bug: Her name is Sparkle.
Me: Umm...her name is Sparkle? (who named her, my four year old?)
Bug: Yeah. Sparkle. Or diamond or something.

Then she ran off to play. Ok, have fun with Sparkle or Diamond or whoever. Chewer Man obviously had a child with Hippie Woman. They sound like a brilliant couple.

Few minutes later, Bug came back to clarify. Turns out friend's name is CRYSTAL. hahahahaha. Oh the mind of a four year old works in magical ways.

Tune in tomorrow for a sexy Q&A that a reader sent in to me. I actually think this is a subject that many of you will relate to, and those of you who don't will have some feelings about it.

Peace out lovers. Go chew on something for a while.