So I had to take my oldest to the orthodontist the other day. She is 9, but because of some less than stellar dental work a few years ago, she needs to start the orthodontia process stat. Anyway, the last time we were at the office, my sweet three year old pooped and it turned into kind of a debacle. And yes, my three year old is still not potty trained. She was for a few days, and then just decided she liked diapers better. She WILL NOT go on the potty. If I put her in panties, she doesn't have accidents, but when she needs to go to the bathroom she asks for a diaper. haha. UGH. One day she sat on the toilet for an hour, would not go, then got off and promptly peed all over the food court at Costco. Oops. She is by far my most stubborn child. But that's an entirely different post altogether.
Anyway, as we were walking in, 9 yr old said "I hope she doesn't poop again this time."
WHY MUST WE TEMPT FATE.
So we're in the waiting room, which is full of people. I am at the front desk discussing payment and trying to schedule our next appointment, and S gets the face. The Face. You know the one I'm talking about. Eyes get big, then narrow in concentration, mouth hardens into a line, and she puts her hand up and says, "don't look at me!" Oh boy. At least she's huddled in the corner so no one will know what's going on.
"MOM! I POOPING MOM!"
Everyone is looking, some smiling, others obviously disgusted. I pretend for a minute that she is not my child. That strategy fails when she walks over to me, still yelling. "MOM! I POOP A LOT! LOT OF POOP MOM!" Still pushing. Face red.
Okay. This is awkward. And you smell like an outhouse. I try to quiet her down, but she will not be quieted. She NEEDS me to know that she has accomplished something great. She needs me to know very loudly.
I am trying to quiet her, while continuing to pay attention to what the receptionist is telling me about our next appointment. Everyone is watching us. And I laugh. Because there is not one dang thing I can do to make this less awkward.
Finally I am done at the desk and we can leave. Bless America. And I realize I have no diaper or wipes with me. Because I'm a good mom like that.
So I just take off her diaper, fling the contents in the bushes, and put it back on her.
hahahahaha. JUST KIDDING! I definitely did NOT do that. haha. But that would add some intrigue to this story for sure.
Instead, I just went home. That's it.
Being a mom is fun.