05 December 2014

Stupid college girl

Let me tell you a story.

One time when I was a sweet little college student at BYU, I was walking to my car after a big group hang out.  It was late (probably close to midnight) and I was walking to my car by myself.

#1. I was not smart.
#2. I lived in a bubble world in a bubble college, which reinforced my view that life was safe and happy and everyone was basically kind at their core.
#3. I had not a single thought about how maybe I shouldn't be walking to my car late at night by myself.
#4. Nothing really bad happened to me because I was walking to my car by myself, I just look back on this story and realize how utterly and completely naive I was.  About everything.

So, I'm on my phone walking to my car, minding my own business and feeling pretty happy about life.  A car passes going the same direction as me, and as soon as they pass their brake lights turn on and they begin a slow turn and head back toward me.  AGAIN, I FELT NO FEAR.  No thought crossed my mind like "this person is going to abduct me" or "something bad might happen."  Nope.  My only thought was, "hey!  It must be a friend!  They are turning around to say hi."

Seriously!!  WHO WAS I??!!  If that happened to me today I would be speed dialing 911 as soon as I saw the brake lights.  I might have swung to the other extreme in my old age.

Anyway, this car turned around so they are now heading towards me on the opposite side of the road. I see the back window roll down.  I see a person lean the top half of their body out the window.  I raise my hand to wave (because obviously these are friendly strangers).  The car speeds up and swerves towards me.


I got nailed.  Hard.  With a flying object of some kind.  In the nether regions.


Whaa?  How?  Who? What just happened???

The car sped off (presumably full of laughter).  I was in shock.  I looked down, and on the sidewalk was a Hostess cream pie, chocolate to be exact, smooshed into a million gooey pieces, the remnants on my pants and dripping down my leg.

I got Hostess cream pied.  At about 35 miles per hour.

And I laughed.  I wasn't upset.  These guys were dill holes, yes.  But hey, it could have been a lot worse.  At least it didn't hit me in the face!

Don't you worry though, I had a huge bruise on my lady parts for a week.

Did that stop me from being a stupid idiotic young adult and walking to my car alone?  Nope.  Sure didn't.

But I will never look at a Hostess cream pie the same.


Anonymous said...

How is it stupid to walk to your own car at night? Yes, be careful and take precautions. Your radar should have gone up when that car slowed down and turned around. But obviously, the people who did that to you were in the wrong. Not you. As a human being, you have a right to stay out with friends and then walk to your car. I wouldn't cal that stupid at all.

Steve said...

One time I was out running in the dark, and someone threw a 32 oz cup full of soda. Dropped me like a sack of potatoes.

Nikki (Have Joy) said...

@anonymous... Thanks for standing up for me!! It was definitely their bad, not mine. And while I agree with you that I have the right to stay out late and walk to my car, I also have to recognize what kind of world we live in, and make sure I'm being smart and safe. And a young girl, walking to her car alone, close to midnight, in a secluded area, was just plain old not smart. I should have asked a friend to walk with me or something. Thanks for sticking up for me!

Nikki (Have Joy) said...

@Steve--are you serious?!? An entire cup of soda??! That is horrible!! I do not understand how people can be so downright cruel. I'm glad you're ok!

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