10 December 2014


The other day I had a feel sorry for myself day. I was feeling all grumpy about my history, my multiple children from multiple husbands (so classy) who have to go back and forth and split their time and will have to do so for a long, long time.

And I was feeling so sad that I didn't protect them better.  Or make different choices somehow so that things would have ended differently.  And I let it consume me for a little while.

Which was so dumb.  Wanna know why?

1. Because it's in the past.  I cannot change it.  Dwelling on it is a waste of time and energy.  Learning from it?  Good.  Dwelling on it?  Stupid.
2. Because it made me angry, and put me in a grumpy mood all day.  Over something I cannot change.
3. Because while I was angry and feeling sorry for myself I was missing out on my three beautiful children.  Children who have been through a lot.  A lot of change.  A lot of instability. A lot of uncertainty.  And who are happy, kind, doing well in school, well adjusted, and basically kind of miracles.  I was focusing on the negatives in the past which caused me to miss out on the blessings of the present.

And that is a dangerous mindset, my friends.

We all have demons.  We all have things in our lives that we wish were different somehow.  And we all have the opportunity to focus on the blessings of the present rather than the would haves of the past.

Join me on the journey.


Lissy said...

Excellent advice! Glad you blogged today. Love you Nikki! Merry Christmas!

redheadgrrl said...

Oh my - this is so me! So tired of running on the mental hamster wheel of past trauma - need to figure out how to desensitize myself to my triggers and continued jackassery from the Wasband. Please post more about this and how to defeat the demons!

Nikki (Have Joy) said...

Lissy--Thank you!! Merry Christmas to your cute family too!

Nikki (Have Joy) said...

Continued jackassery from the Wasband! bahahahaha. Best sentence ever. This is such a hard cycle to be stuck in, and everyone with past trauma goes through it. I still have triggers that I'm just finding out about. I will definitely post more about this topic and how to work through it. Thanks for your comment!

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