Reflecting

I'm sitting here writing in my warm, cozy bed.
Sweet husband is sleeping next to me, breathing softly.
Sweet kids are sleeping in their beds down the hall, worn out by yesterday filled with food and fun.
Christmas tree is lit in the living room.  I hear the heater kick on and I wiggle down a little further into my comforter.

I am so incredibly at peace.  Happy.  Content.  Exactly where I want to be.  I'm not talking about my bed (although I would honestly never leave my bed if I didn't have to.  It's my favorite place on the planet.  Next to McDonald's).  I mean in life I am where I want to be.  Finally.

I have been in some dark places.  Not just once or twice.  I have felt so many times like I was drowning.  Like I was submerged in darkness and barely coming up long enough to get a short breath before I was thrust back into the depths.  I have felt so hopeless, so alone, so full of pain and heartache that I felt as though I couldn't breath, unsure of how I would get through the next day, the next hour, the next minute.  I have felt the numbness that comes with intense pain.  The disconnect from family or friends or life in general.

I have been there.  And I have survived.

And I am starting to come back to life.  Tiny green buds are emerging, ready to bloom.  New.  Beautiful.  Full of hope and happiness.

And I can finally,  finally breathe.