14 October 2014


First, remember to send in any questions for our Thursday Q&A!  Email them to
have joy{at}ymail{dot}com.

And thank you to those of you who commented on last week's post about depression.  I so appreciate your support for the reader who sent in the question!  Thank you!

I have talked before about the comparison trap (read my post here), and I will probably talk about it a million more times in the future.  Mostly because I struggle with it, and I think a lot of women struggle with it.  And I tend to write about things that I need reminders about, and this is one of those things.

We all have different gifts, and we are all expected to use our gifts in ways unique to our strengths and abilities.  Some people have gifts in the form of talents (like singing, or painting, or baking), but some of us have gifts that aren't necessarily recognized as talents, like being a good listener, being a patient mother, being able to recognize a need and fill it through service, or being able to look at life through a positive lens.  It can be easy to compare those quieter gifts to others who may have gifts that speak more loudly.

I want to share an excerpt from a talk given at BYU in1989 by Patricia Holland (Jeffrey R. Holland's wife), entitled Filling the Measure of Your Creation.  She states:

"I once read a wonderful analogy of the limitations our present perspective imposes on us. The message was that in the ongoing process of creation—our creation and the creation of all that surrounds us—our heavenly parents are preparing a lovely tapestry with exquisite colors and patterns and hues. They are doing so lovingly and carefully and masterfully. And each of us is playing a part—our part—in the creation of that magnificent, eternal piece of art.
But in doing so we have to remember that it is very difficult for us to assess our own contributions accurately. We see the rich burgundy of a neighboring thread and think, “That’s the color I want to be.” Then we admire yet another’s soft, restful blue or beige and think, “No, those are better colors than mine.” But in all of this we don’t see our work the way God sees it, nor do we realize that others are wishing they had our color or position or texture in the tapestry—even as we are longing for theirs.
Perhaps most important of all to remember is that through most of the creative period we are confined to the limited view of the underside of the tapestry where things can seem particularly jumbled and muddled and unclear. If nothing really makes very much sense from that point of view, it is because we are still in process and unfinished. But our heavenly parents have the view from the top, and one day we will know what they know—that every part of the artistic whole is equal in importance and balance and beauty. They know our purpose and potential, and they have given us the perfect chance to make the perfect contribution in this divine design."

I love everything about this.  It is very difficult for us to assess our own contributions accurately, she says. Remember, YOU have been given certain gifts and abilities, and YOU are important to your circle of influence, and YOU have a divine role in God's plan.  YOU.  Flaws and all.

Now stop mourning the person you are not, and get out there and be the best YOU you can be!


Debbie Virgin said...

I love this Nikki! Reminds me of a talk your mom and I had once up on a time (actually MANY times) <3 she helped me in so many ways to be my best self and feel good about who I am. :) I will always love her for that! She had a way about her that made me feel loved and even beautiful (imagine that!) I miss her so much and wish I could keep having those chats with her! Love you sweet Nikki!

Nikki (Have Joy) said...

Thank you for sharing that, Debbie. I love hearing stories about my mom and ways that she is missed.

Anonymous said...

I needed to hear this today! 1st time commenting but I had been keeping up with your posts. Thank you for this post! I am so guilty of falling in the trap of comparison and it ruins my relationships with boyfriends and its a pattern I have been wanting to end and I FINALLY have been working on it and this post was just the icing for me! Looking forward to more posts!

Nikki (Have Joy) said...

Thank you so much for letting me know how this post affected you. I love hearing how the timing of different things falls into place, like you reading a post like this when you've been thinking about this concept already! High five for your first comment, it was a good one!

Have Joy © 2013.

Design by The Blog Boat