04 August 2014

Peanut Butter Mantis

Hey loves.  Feeling a bit discouraged lately.

Wait, let me rephrase that.

In general, I am happier than I've been in a really really really really (really) long time.  Which has opened up emotional energy for me to revisit some thoughts I've had about writing.  I enjoy writing for lots of different reasons.  And I would love to figure out a way to make it a bigger deal in my life.


Every time I try to organize my thoughts/niche/monkeys/genre/ideas my brain floods with how much WRITING there is out there.  You could Google any topic (seriously anything) and a hundred articles/pictures/websites will come up.  Seriously anything.  Go Google peanut butter praying mantis (I just typed the first four words that popped into my head, don't ask).  Let me Google it and see if my hypothesis is correct.


Yup.  There are definitely articles and videos somehow connecting peanut butter to praying mantises.  Mantisis.  Mantees.  Mantoads.  I don't know how you make mantis plural. I didn't read any of the articles, I was too depressed that my experiment worked.  The point is that I'm pretty sure anything worth writing has already been written (also a lot of things not worth writing)  like a million times.

But see, my brain doesn't stop at "there's already so much written."  And here's where the discouragement mentioned above comes in.  My brain starts thinking about how everyone is so talented out there!  Some people are incredibly talented musically, some have beautiful model children, some have perfect homes or perfect hair or quilt or cook or don't eat meat or workout all the time.

And the next place my brain takes me is "you are less."

You are not as witty as Sally, your house will never be as fabulous as Molly's, your children will never be Baby Gap models like Suzy Q.  And let's be real, you hate running.

And I think we all struggle with this.  With the comparing that social media tends to bring to our lives. Comparing our real, flawed selves to everyone else's ideal, social media-worthy selves. And if we're not careful, it can suffocate our happiness and smother our self-worth.

"It is such a sorrowful waste of energy and spirit to grieve the woman you are not. Based on worldly standards, there will always be someone smarter, funnier, younger, thinner, wealthier, or prettier than you.  Reread that, soak it in. And then promptly get over it." 
 --Kristin Armstrong 

Love that quote times a million.  I am working on getting out of the comparison trap.  Although that doesn't change the fact that everything worth writing has already been written. But don't worry!  I will snap out of this and move along.  Just thought my fellow internet friends could feel my comparison pain.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have a pity party to clean up.

PS Here's a graphic of my favorite quote from this post. Feel free to take a screenshot and share as you wish! 



Anonymous said...

I really enjoy when you share your thoughts. It makes me think and reminds me that others aren't perfect and that I am "normal". I hope you keep blogging because even if something has been said a bazillion times before, it has not been said from your perspective. Hugs!

Nikki (Have Joy) said...

Thank you, Anonymous! I really appreciate your comment. :)

Susan said...

I found your blog through family share. I absolutely loved the article you wrote. I was reminded to live in the moment, love myself more and just let go. Thank you for your thoughts as they came at a most opportune time. And know that strangers like me need your words. Even if all the words in the world have been expressed before, your words touched me today.

Nikki (Have Joy) said...

Thank you so much for this sweet comment. It means a great deal to me that this post affected you. Thank you for letting me know. Hope you come back and read more!

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