Control Freak

I am a control freak.

This can be a problem at times.  I'm not the super neat/myhousehastolooklikeamagazine kind of control freak.  And there are some times that I really prefer not to be in control.  But when it comes to certain things, I need to be the boss.  NEED.

For example, I hate being late.  And I rhyme all the time (that was a joke, silly bloke).  Let's say we are planning on leaving at 10am to get wherever on time.  Let's say I've done everything I can do to be out the door by 10.  I got up early, I got the kids stuff put together the night before.  Then, as we are walking out the door, the baby falls in a mud puddle or someone throws up or an alien swoops down and traps us in the house.  Those are the types of things that are infuriating to me.  Completely, 100% out of my control. And my stress level goes to a thousand (that's a pretty high level, right?) and I start getting snappy at my husband and kids and it's no fun for anyone.

This has been a personality trait that I have worked on over the years, and I feel like it's in a manageable place these days.  However, it is an extremely difficult characteristic to have when you are divorced.  There are lots and lots of times that I send my babies to their dad's and I have no control.  I don't know what they eat for dinner.  I don't know what time they go to bed, or whether they brushed their teeth or said their prayers.  I don't know what shows they are watching or what music they are listening to or what kinds of people are around them.  And even though I know their dads love them (yup. plural dads. awkward), a dad is not a mom!  And moms tend to be more detail oriented and worried about things like eating vegetables and brushing teeth and bedtimes.

That's all.  It is what it is, and I cannot control certain things about my situation.  I just needed to whine about it for a hot second.  My life is good and my children are happy.  Whine session over.

Peace out, homies.