21 October 2014

Service Through a Dress

I decided I wanted to start chronicling (ummm is that the weirdest word in the history of words?) some stories and memories about my mom.

It has been almost 4 years since she passed away, which is so crazy to me.  I haven't spoken to my mom in 4 years!  I still have her in my favorites on my phone, though her number now belongs to someone else. When she first passed away, I found myself reaching for my phone multiple times a day to call or text her, and I still can't bear to delete her information.  It's almost like that would be forgetting her or something.  Every once in a while I'll go look at her Facebook page, too, just to remind myself that there is still evidence of her, that her life hasn't completely disappeared.  It's the weirdest thing to think about her being gone.  How is it that someone is just not here anymore?  One day they are living, breathing, worrying, and the next, nothing.  I honestly don't know how people get through losing a loved one without a belief in an afterlife.

So.  Stories about my mom.  I've told this one to some people, but haven't written it down.  Here goes.

When I was a senior in high school I was really really busy.  I was in a lot of AP classes (like honors classes), I was in ASB (student government), I had a part time job (as the janitor at a dental office, now if you want to talk about glamorous...), and I was on a competitive club cheerleading team that practiced 3 times a week an hour away from my house.  I also attended early morning seminary (a class put on by my church where we studied books of scripture) that started at 5:45 AM.  That's right.  Needless to say I was exhausted pretty much all the time.  Senior Ball was coming up, and I was stressed because I had no time to go look for a dress, and in my 17 year old world that was a catastrophe.

I came home from school one day, two weeks before the dance exhausted as usual.  I walked in the front door to find formal dresses hung all over the living room.  Beautiful fabric, beautiful colors, sparkles and sequins.  As I sat there confused and looking around, my mom explained to me that she knew I was so busy and stressed, so she had gone to the mall that day to find me a dress.  She went to store after store, and looked at dress after dress, and bought 10 or 12 dresses that she thought I would like.  She brought them home and set them up for me so I could try them on and choose one.  She was like my own personal shopper, and my living room was transformed into my very own specialized dress shop.  I was so thankful that my sweet mom took time out of her own busy schedule (which certainly included things that actually mattered) to serve me and help me find a dress.  She could have easily said, "It's just a dress, it doesn't matter.  It's one dance that you will soon forget about."  Instead, she was wise enough to know that even though the dance didn't matter, I mattered.  Even though finding the right dress wasn't important, I was important.

I picked out a dress I loved from the ones she chose, and she returned the others the next day.   Though I do not remember much about that dance, I do remember the love of my sweet mother, and how I felt that love through a dress.

13 comments:

Michelle Moore said...

I miss your mom and I love this story. I can't imagine losing my mom, and I think about you and your sisters a lot. Each of you has the best parts of her and the way you live your lives is evidence that she was real, and she lived a really sweet life raising the 4 of you. Love you schroeders!

Debbie Virgin said...

LOVE that you will be sharing your memories of her <3 This memory is so precious and describes her so well...always so kind and thoughtful <3

Kelly Brean said...

Nikki Nikki...my Dad has been gone 4 years today. Like you I still look at his pictures and cling to anything that reminds me he was/is here with me. Death is so hard for the ones left behind. Thank you for sharing....I needed this today and it made me think of all the wonderful things my Dad did for me!

Requel said...

That is the best story ever! I'm so sad for you right now. I want to hug you and cry with you. Moms are the best! You are the best!

Nikki (Have Joy) said...

Michelle--What an incredibly sweet comment. Thank you.

Debbie--So glad you will enjoy these memory posts about her!

Kelly--I didn't realize we lost parents so close to each other! It is such a hard thing. I'm glad you are holding his memories dear.

Requel--No, YOU are the best. :)

The Tylkas said...

So beautiful! Love your stories!

Matilyn Kay said...

I love this post so much. My mom has been gone for just over a year and a half. I know exactly what you mean. I tried so hard to text her when she was first gone. Every time I remembered I couldn't, my heart broke all over again. Last week I read through her Facebook again. It really makes me so happy to do things that make me remember that she was real. I love your story. Sounds like your mom was, and is, an amazing woman!

Nikki (Have Joy) said...

Thank you, Kim!

Nikki (Have Joy) said...

Matilyn Kay,
I'm so sorry you have lost your mom as well. I agree that your heart breaks over and over again after the death of someone close to you. Thanks for your comment. It's nice to know there are others out there experiencing similar trials as I am.

Tressa said...

Ah man! Every time I read or hear a story about your mom from you or your sisters I start crying! Seriously. Love you! And I loved me some Rita!

Myrna McBride said...

Miss your mom, love the story!
You were such a cute "dental janitor"!

Nikki (Have Joy) said...

Tressa -- I love that it makes you cry!! Not in a weird way, but it just reminds me that other people loved her and are touched by her life too. :)

Nikki (Have Joy) said...

Thanks, Myrna! And seriously, sometimes I'm like WAS THAT REAL??! haha. I appreciated the job so much! Thank you!

 
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