03 September 2009

Q&A: Love Story

Q: What is your marriage/engagement story? How long did you date before you got engaged? How long were you engaged before you got married? Was this your first marriage, or had you done it before? I always like hearing people's love stories. Oh, and here's the kicker: Now that you are married, would you have done anything differently? Are you happily married? Are there things you wish you had done/known/asked while you were dating?

Let's hear it, people...

14 comments:

Cardalls said...

my husband and I knew each other for about 10 years before we were married. i am older and was good friends with his sister. he got home from his mission and was no longer the annyoing little brother...boy howdy he was hot stuff! we started hanging out as good friends...in fact he told me about all his dates and asked my advice. this started to really bug me as I realized that i liked him much more than a friend. it took him a couple of months to clue in and things happened quickly from there. we were engaged about 6 weeks later and engaged for 4 months. i wouldn't have done anything differently, at the time i was a little shell shocked from the speed of it all (when my husband decides to do something he doesn't waste time), it was just what i needed. we are very happily married, but have "bumps" like any marriage. he is perfect for me and i for him.

Anonymous said...

oooh, this is so fun!! Can't wait to read these.

Dated for about 2 1/2 years, engaged for 8 months. Would I do anything differently?

YES!! I would have spent less money on the wedding. Random answer, right? But, I didn't realize how hard credit was to pay back back then. (especially if you aren't immediately working).

I loved my wedding and it was a great bonding experience with, my mom actually. But, Vegas would have been just as exciting (probably, lol).

We are EXTREMELY happily married. I had really high standards before even dating anyone. We worked through most of the hard stuff before getting married and we did a lot of pre-marital preparation all throughout the engagement period. The best thing about my guy is his willingness to learn how to make things better and then actually put it into action. Also he's very goal oriented and family oriented. These were things that were apparent from when we first met.

Chelle Belle said...

Ok, you asked for it!

We had known each other for 6 months before we got married. I met him at institute. I was totally enthralled with this hot boy who walked into my class holding a motorcycle helmet. From that day I knew that I had to get to know him. I knew the secretary really well and she gave me all of his info. I knew how old he was and where he went on his mission. I asked him to go with me to a green&gold ball that my stake was having. Things got serious really fast. We were not engaged long, only about 1 1/2 weeks. We got married in August of 1997. We are super happy. It has not always been easy but it has been worth it. We started out rocky, with a new baby 7 1/2 months after we got married. But after 12 years of marriage and 4 kids we are definitely in a great place right now! I love him with all my heart. He is my anchor and my light!

The only thing that I would have changed was to not have to rush things. I wish we would have waited for certain things.

Julia Kelly said...

We dated for 8 months, and were engaged for 4.

Would I do anything different?
Nope.

I'm the youngest of 5 in my family. I was a cafeful observer of my sisters/brother and their marrage relationships. And they all had TONS of advice for me as well. I picked out what I liked and disliked about each relationship and tried to be aware of these things when I met my husband and when we were dating. Is our marriage perfect? No. But, my husband and I sure fit together pretty good.

Tiffani said...

Met Andrew while in Utah for Conference and to see my boyfriend at the time. Well, it turned out that my "friend" had to go to his missionary reunion and so I hung out with friends that night. I had seen Andrew earlier in the day when I was with my "friend" and I couldn't stop thinking about him so that night I asked who he was. My friend replied, "You don't know Andrew Morgan?" We were introduced and spent the night in each others company. The rest is history.

Anyways, we dated for a little over a year and were engaged for a month. First marriage for both. My mom has been married several times so I knew I had to choose wisely. My step-mom always said, "you can't choose your immediate family, but you can choose who you marry." So I always made sure I dated guys with solid, strong families because family is important to me and I knew that my spouses family would be my family too. I was young but even then I knew Andrew was a catch. But the longer we are together I appreciate HOW lucky or wise I was!

Like every other couple we have had our share of disagreements but we are still happy and in love almost seven years later!

The only thing I would change is getting married in December right after Christmas but the spring seemed like an eternity away and that is not a deal breaker.

Tiffani said...

P.S. Andrew would have liked to know my driving history and the fact that I had like 8 speeding tickets and had because of the sheer number of tickets had my license suspended at one point. Lots of tickets = higher insurance. However, I have redeemed myself and haven't gotten a ticket in more than 7 years!

Anonymous said...

We dated twice before his mission, exchanged 5 letters in 2 years, so didn't really do the waiting thing, but I felt inklings and he did too. When we were finally in the same area, we dated almost 3 months before getting engaged. Then 5 months before wedding. That was hard, hard and hard. Blah, don't know if I'd recommend that to anyone. 5 months is a long time. College break issues, like everyone else.

Do anything differently?
*a little thing: ask for help in wedding planning
*a little bigger thing: don't put so much pressure on the picture in my mind of wedding night
*a much bigger thing: have babies closer together

Happily married. Ups and downs. Best decision I ever made, tho' it was hard to commit, for me. When I put on my engagement ring, I felt like I was in jail, just hard to have the courage to get married, scared of committment. But I did love him, I knew I wanted to get married, I wanted to be a mother, I wanted to marry a guy like him - so, I took the plunge, jumped off the cliff.

Glad I jumped.

Megan & Alex said...

Avid reader of your blog! My first comment! How exciting!

My Fiance and I dated for 4 years exactly before he proposed to me infront of Cinderalla's castle at Disneyland on our 4 year anni(with my best friend there to snap a pic and his older brother standing close by :)) We started dating when he was 15 and I was 16. We are now both 20( I will be 21 in Dec).

We will be having a LONG engagement. We promised my parents that we would wait until after I got my Masters to get married(seeing how they are paying for school I thouhgt it was only fair.)I just started CSUChico, and will be graduating in 2013 we will be getting married in 2014. So we have a year to plan a wedding with out school in the way.

I hope you enjoyed :)
Megan

ps
I am Tommy and Amanda Jordan's future sister-in-law. That's how I came across your blog :)

Anonymous said...

We met in high school biology class, when I sat in the row behind him. I made him a bet that he couldn't do the middle splits. He won. We dated for a year in high school until he moved away for school. We were miserable. He came home, and we got married at 21. We had two kids and lots of school... we separated almost a year ago, but we managed to reconcile and renew our vows this May.

Would I do anything differently? Probably not. Our wedding was beautiful, but it was big. I think our vow renewal ceremony after we came back together was much more intimate and meaningful, since we'd overcome some tough stuff to get there. As for marriage, you can't regret life as you go, even the tough stuff. Not everyone has a picture-perfect road. I am not happy we had trouble, but we're stronger for it.

We are happily married, but part of maturing has meant accepting that "happily" doesn't mean trouble-free, perfect, or anything other than what works for the two of us.

Anonymous said...

We met on the internet...

...stop laughing, we did. Well, kind of.

We knew of each other growing up, went to different high schools and were in different stakes but had mutual friends. We started talking over the internet while he was away at school. Well, when I say started talking over the internet, I should clarify that we had one instant message conversation, established we remembered each other (or knew who each other was and that we weren't internet stalker killers) I gave him my number, and within five seconds of hitting enter my phone was ringing. We talked all night. He moved home from school 3 weeks later. He proposed to me a month after that. We were engaged for six months.

This was both of our first marriages. We fell in love fast but it was so right that neither of us could deny it or be apart.

No REAL regrets, but when he proposed to me it was in front of his whole family. We both agree it would've been nice that if he was going to do it in front of people like that, it would have been cool to have my family there too.

Now, almost five years later with one child and one on the way, I can definitely say we've hit our bumps but that I know that we made the right decision. We are more in love today then ever and so incredibly happy married. I realize that is sometimes a hard thing to come by and I'm definitely grateful for it.

Boy am I glad I was on the computer that night...

Erin and Aaron said...

i just posted our 'how we met' love story in numerous segemnets on my blog. check it out!

The Elmers said...

We have known each other for close to 11 years now. Brad and I met in high school. He a senior, me a sophomore. He a football jock, me a cheerleader :) Always thought he was Hot...walking by each other in the hall between classes (it was a game day) he asked if we got new uniforms (same one we had all year :) Then we couldn't get enough, dated a little while, I ended it for about a year. We got back together, three years later we were married! (official engagement was about 6 months) We will celebrate our 6 years of marriage this October.

Do things differently?? OF COURSE! but would want the same outcome...married with three of the most adorable kiddies! I actually wish we would have stretched our engagement out a little longer...made our wedding a little more personal and momentous rather then feeling the pressure to do just get it done! ya know? Also, I am a convert so my family was not around for the ceremony...something I still honestly struggle with. So, Loved the temple, but absolutely would have done that a year later instead :) Gotta be honest.
And of course we have had many struggles but we wouldn't be where we are, or have the knowledge we do if we hadn't so I don't know if I would have changed all the struggles...but a few for sure ;)

Amanda and Noah said...

My husband and I dated 5 months before we got engaged but we knew each other through college. I was SO SO scared to get married!

It all started one semester when I kept seeing this handsome man walk into everyone of my classes. That's right Noah and I had all 5 classes together (not on purpose). I think the big man upstairs had a trick up his sleeve because anyone who has gone through college knows it's nearly impossible to schedule all your classes exactly the same on accident.

So, Noah and I started talking and became great friends...then we started dating. I was working full time and going to school full time so he would pick me up at 10:00p.m. every night and take me to go get a frosty and we would drive. I will never forget our drives up the mountains...we talked about everything.

Soon it was time to get engaged and I loved Noah with all my heart...so he proposed. About 3 months later I freaked out and didn't think I could get married..I was so scared. I gave the ring back:( I will never ever forget what Noah said to me the day I said I couldn't get married. Noah told me, "I won't date anyone else, I won't consider anyone else...all I want is you and when you're ready I will be waiting for you"

WOW! he completely put aside all pride. Through a little bit of counceling and 2 months later I realized I couldn't live 1 day of my life without hearing Noah's voice...without hearing him laugh and making him laugh. I went to Noah and said..."take me back" without hesitation he hugged me and pulled out my wedding ring from his pocket.

I had so much peace I won't ever be able to express in words the confirmation the Lord gave me to marry Noah. When I walked into the sealing room with Noah next to me the spirit was so strong I burst into tears because my body didn't know how to express the deep emotions I was feeling at that moment...

Now...would I have taken back our crazy dating story..NEVER. I needed to know Noah would love me no matter what and with my personality I had to see it...and I did.

Now I am happily married to my best friend who makes me laugh so hard I usually end up peeing my pants (a lot). He always approaches me so softly because he knows I'm very sensitive. I don't want to come across as if Noah and I don't argue..because we do. But we laugh a lot and we laugh hysterically at our riduclous arguments:) Life is good:)

We've graduated college, built a house, and have a little doggy named spanky. We plan on growing our family very soon.

Allie Z said...

Britt and I met on eHarmony. We have such a fun time telling people our stories because we are just soooo different, complete opposites. Our faith is what keeps us grounded and continues to spur us on together, happily married, through trials and simply wild times.

We started talking at Thanksgiving time and met on New Years Day. I had spent Christmas in WA, flew back on 1/1 to San Diego, Britt met me in Carlsbad that evening. He learned something that night: 1) I was THE one and 2) I would always be late, no matter what. :) We continued to visit each other flying and driving between Phoenix and Carlsbad. In March he moved to Carlsbad, in June he proposed, and in November we married.

Dated 6 months, Engaged 6 months, Celebrating our 4 year anniversary in November.

The number one thing I HIGHLY recommend is to take a premarital counseling class- one in a group setting. You'll be energized by the love and reassured of your quirks. I LOVED taking the Meyers Briggs test, learning about my fiance- before getting married. I also learedn that "Expectations that go unsaid will go unmet"! Wow! Every couple needs to learn that and needs to be accountable for it. Who's going to take out the trash? mow the lawn? what are your financial goals? mommy want to stay home with the babies? dad need time out with the guys? Iron those expectations out (loosely) so that when you reach those battles, you'll be AWARE.

I married an only child so we've had 1,000s of battles simply because of that one difference. I wish I would have sought personal counseling or found a mentor (an only child) who could help verbalize the issues I would run into. My hubby is WONDERFUL! I know that God is my all, my husband is enough for me, and no, my husband is not my best girl friend- he cannot read my needs like a book- I do have to use words to communicate. :) I wish I had known that single point- how to effectively communicate. He doesn't like extra words, adjectives are for girls. :)

We blended our family too, I brought in 2 beautiful daughters. We had to iron that out early on. We had to agree on how we would raise them, define his role, come together as a team, etc. We even had to train HIS family on how to become grandparents, etc. They quickly had favorites, but that's a no-no and was addressed VERY early on.

I wish someone would have sat us down and provided budgeting tools. I was strong in the financial area. He had no idea what it took to run a household and family, the expenses of kids, etc. Props to https://www.pearbudget.com/spreadsheet for giving us what we needed. Single men eat out a lot, spend on whims, and don't really know how much tampons cost... I'm just sayin... :)

There are many things I'd add, but I'm outta space...

Allie

 
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