Q: Every married couple will clash over certain topics. Well, every married couple that is made up of two separate people with their own brains, and their own experiences, and their own expectations, anyway. What do you and your spouse argue about? Maybe argue isn't the right word...maybe "areas you both have to compromise" is a better way to say it. No marriage is compromise-free. What are your rough topics?
A: It's all in your hands, readers. :)
P.S. I'll be hosting another live chat tonight for anyone that is interested. 9 PM, PST. I'll be here.
27 August 2009
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16 comments:
sex, he wants more than i do, lol!
his spending habits and spending time with the family.
maybe i'm not the prime candidate to say anything at all...i'm going through a divorce right now...
i've got a list of bumps!
Finances. I'm really frugal (ok, maybe too much so) and he likes to go out to eat, get drinks at the movies (dollar theater, of course), drive to the corner, buy name brand stuff, etc.
the pronunciation of the game "rummikub." he says "cub" and i say "cube." its an ongoing battle.
1. Kids stuff, different approaches. Sometimes we're on the same page, sometimes we see things from opposite sides & it's usually daily - discipline, money, grades, rewards.
2. Career objectives.
3. We have reached a detente' on sex, however - every other night. He's happy and I can see the benefits. For him and for me. I still want to eat the Better Than Sex cake and compare. Haven't yet.
TBC
4.
My hub is a total perfectionist, and so he likes the house absolutely spotless when he comes home and a huge dinner ready on the table. That's a little unreachable every day, especially with kiddos running around. So, I've had to learn to try become a better wife to him by making dinner and cleaning more, and he's had to learn to relax a little. It's definitley a WORK IN PROGRESS!
Yard work. He hates to do it and I don't usually feel like doing it after spending the day cleaning the house and taking care of the kids. Plus, I'm not too good with the whole lawn mower/weed wacker/hedge trimmer thing anyway. I finally broke down and hired a landscaper to come and weekly do the front yard, but the backyard is a complete jungle. Seriously...I think I've lost my kids in the grass a few times ; )
I am loving all these!! Kat, I laughed out loud at yours. haha. I say "cube" too. :)
Christa--you and me could probably get together a nice little list of bumps. :)
And Sex Every Other Night Anonymous--I love that idea! Oooh, I'm feeling a future post coming on...
Grassy Kids Anonymous--hahahahaha. That's all i have to say about that. hahah.
oooh, we used to clash about my driving. He is a horrible "passenger seat" driver. He wants me to pass slow cars, go the quickest possible way, drive through the yellow light. blah.
He just drives now. :)
Otherwise we are pretty good except for when one of us is hormonal/hungry and pushes limits over silly things.
Our families are really the only thing we clash about. And it is ongoing and I feel will forever be an ongoing battle. We live about a half hour from his family so we see them every weekend. And I'm fine with that but we live about 3 and half hours from mine so when we go to visit my family we have to stay for the weekend. He is usually pretty good but every now and then he makes a huge deal about going and acts like we go way to often. This is so annoying to me because I wish I could hang out with my Mom and sister all the time. And my family is a lot bigger than has and every one is married so there are a lot of different personalities. I don't know if anyone else has this problem. How do you deal with it? Also I get annoyed that we plan our weekend around when we are going to see and hang out with his family. You see how all of this can be way annoying and cause drama??
I would say topic-wise, it's money.. but really when we have no money we fight about everything under the sun because we're just tense. Everything else really seems to be okay though. For us it's not topical, most of the time. It's an issue with our communication.
KIDS! You know the story of Cinderella? THATS US! My new husband is mean to my kids (his step kids). They have completly different rules, consequences, priviledges, and rewards than his own kids. It causes alot of conflict in our marriage. I'm not quite sure its worth it. I feel like I need to make a decision, being fair to my kids, or staying married. Know any good books on sucessfully blending families???
Having Balanced Workloads...
He works all day and sometimes into the evening/night. I work all day at home with kids, and into the evening/night/late late night. However, he sleeps in later than I do because of his work schedule and when he gets up he simply hops in the shower, gets ready, and is off to work. Meanwhile, I've been up with the kids, running around tending to them - haven't had time to even think about myself yet, let alone get a shower. Then when he gets home, it is usually around kids bedtimes and I'm ready for some help! Most nights he comes home, spends a half an hour in the bathroom, eats while watching t.v., and by then I have the kids already down - by myself. Ugh. On top of that, I get up 2 -3 times a night with the baby.
We fight when he looks over at me and says he never gets a break. Serious? Serious.
Money (he's WAYYY frugal),disciplining kids, and me being too critical and not giving him a break. I really am much too critical...I have an amazing husband who is so supportive and helpful and sometimes I focus on all that he doesn't do instead of the many wonderful things he does do!
Money. That is our battle. We both have different opinions on how to spend it. I am more frugal and he doesn't care about where it goes. I have had to take charge of the funds and put them into my own account that I opened up. It works, but it probably isn't the right thing to do- you know- that little thing called communication.
we clash over disciplining the kids sometimes. like recently he decided emma needed to be grounded from treats. i feel like this is unrealistic especially because i keep forgetting she's grounded from them and he feels like i'm not on his team. oh well. nothing major really.
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